Dealing with Abuse

Life throws us many different obstacles.  One being physical and mental abuse, which no one should have to endure.  I am writing this blog to help others not to go through what I have had to endure.  Going through life I stood up for what I believed until I got married. That is when I went through a lot of mental abuse and then started the spitting in my face and pushing me around. I finally got up enough courage to leave him only to put myself in a near death experience.

I became involved with this guy and became pregnant for my first child. This was a blessing which saved my life from going down the wrong path. While pregnant the physical abuse started happening and I didn't know where to turn. He would threaten my family and me so I stuck it out. However, eight months pregnant I was thrown down in the gravel and then in the truck all the while bleeding and crying for help. When I gave birth to my daughter complications began with her. She coded the day after she was born and almost again a second time. All he could do was blame me for her being sick even though it was inherited and she had to get one bad gene from each of us.

Being torn apart inside and out I stayed with him. Only for a day to come for me to almost lose my life and never to see my daughter again. I had guy friends more then girl friends because I was always interested in football, texas hold'em, camping, fishing and mudriding. Never was I the type who loved the phone or shopping. I received a message from an old friend seeing how we were all doing and things hit the fan. He drove me to the levee, pulled me out of the truck and beat me until my head was bleeding and wouldn't stop. I was shaking and couldn't breathe, but yet that didn't matter. I was continuously thrown to the ground and then in the truck. He then took us down Bayou Rd, turning the headlights off, breaking my phone, swirving all over the place and beating me still.

During all this I was trying to get away but couldn't. Thats when I was taken to the End of the Line and was beat even more. Then the next words were not what any mother wants to hear! "Kelli doesn't need you as a mom!" That is when he searched through his bag trying to find his gun but couldn't. I counted my blessings and thanked God that he couldn't find it. I then learned that I was pregnant again and half way through the pregnancy left him and did the restraining order.

However my life had never been the same. After I had my son, I came across another guy who was mentally abusive. He told me I needed to go back to my ex so he could kill me and that I needed to chew on a hand grenade and kill myself. I was also called a fat cow and many other hateful names. So what I did next when blow the minds of everyone!! I went back to my abusive ex for him to kill me. I lost all self esteem and all will to live. He was still abusive but said he would never kill me but the next guy I would be with would. Then he would get our kids and everything he ever wanted. Instead of him killing me I became pregnant for our third child together. My life began to matter again so the moment I was able to get my truck back I took off!!

That is when I put myself in the hospital to get the help I needed not just for myself but most importantly for my babies!! I was taught that "Everything happens for a Reason!" Don't go as far as I did be strong and get out first sign because they aren't going to stop!!! Find the strength and will in yourself and through God to get yourself out!! Always remember you don't deserve abuse and deserve nothing but the best!!